After my little hiatus over the holidays, I have returned to work , which means lots of travel, and feel as though I am long overdue for a rant. I am also feeling a tad bit snarky today, so here goes…
We are all lucky to have easy access to driving licenses, cars, highways and other related infrastructure and as such it becomes all too easy to take for granted the roads and traffic laws that regulate them. (into the definition of the word “laws” I will add “Cheryl’s rules” and expect you shall follow them as suggested).
-Each and every day the sun rises and sets ; east to west it travels across the sky in a very predictable pattern ,so plan accordingly. Carry sunglasses that you can reach without looking away from the road and veering in to my lane and please please please take all of your coupons, folded papers and other emphemera out from behind your sun visor. It should come as no surprise to you, dear driver, that unsecured paper will rain down on you if you flip said visor when driving eastbound on any and all roads in the am and westbound in the afternoon.
-Your car may be small enough for you to think you can dart in and out of any lane you choose at whim but guess what? My vehicle is big. If you try to cut into the lane I am in I WILL hit you, and let’s just guess who may bear the brunt of the hurt.
– See that little red sign that looks like an upside down triangle with the letters Y I E L D on it ? If you can see and read it , it is meant for you. Act on it
_-The very large green signs announcing exits and lane merges conveniently placed directly in your sight line are meant for you too. Read them, use the information provided to make smart decisions none of which include waiting until the last 10 yards before an exit to get in the proper lane or remaining in a lane that is about to end until you pass all the cars who did what they were told when the merge sign appeared.
-We live in New England, our weather changes are notoriously well known. If you went in the house and it was 50 degrees at night, that does not rule out the fact that snow may have fallen after you dozed off for the evening and is now covering your car . You can find this out by
a.)watching the local weather , all of our local stations go absolutely bananas when even the most scant of frozen precipitation falls so you can be sure to catch it no matter when you tune in
b.) get weather alerts sent to your mobile device or
c.) look out the GD window.
If snow has fallen you must ready your vehicle for safe travel by clearing it of said snow, not doing so and creating a mini-blizzard for cars around you as you speed down the highway is rude and self-absorbed. We all have schedules to keep, but squish in a few extra minutes to use the snowbrush. Doing so will insure I will not tailgate and beep/swear at you which would start your day in a negative fashion.
-Before you get behind the wheel, do a quick self-assessment. Do you have all day to get where you are going? Do you drive with your hands placed at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel carefully eyeing the speedometer lest you go above 55mph? Do you ride your brakes down every incline you encounter? Are you proud to announce you have never ever been g iven a speeding ticket? If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, pull into the right lane. The left lanes are for faster traffic, those of us who have places to go and people to see and want to get there in this century. If you are in the left lane and are not the fastest person in the road then put your blinker on immediately and GET THE HECK OUT OF THE WAY! Do not commend yourself for following the law and saving me from myself,I am watching for the police and as a bonus I know how to pay a ticket and it’s not your money I am using. Worry about yourself while simultaneously driving in the RIGHT lane.
-Put,The.Phone.Down. You can tell your friend Eddy about the crazy lady that just passed you on the road later form the safety of your desk or home. To be truthful, Eddy is not all that interested anyway , and he already looked out his window this morning so he does not need your weather update either.
-I also have a personal rule “Never drive behind a Subaru” , but you can feel free to follow that one or not at your own discretion.
That is all, I am done now. Yes, I do realize there is nothing even remotely garden or plant related in this particular rant, but I needed to vent, and here you were to listen. I thank you for that.
P.s A shout out to the lovely ladies at Southborough Gardeners this morning, they ROCKED the workshop!