Last weekend Bill and I hosted a large fundraiser for The Pan Mass Challenge( which supports the Jimmy Fund Clinic at Dana Faber) and thus had a crazy few days leading up to the event on Friday. Saturday  morning we left at the crack of dawn for New Jersy to go to  a family graduation party. On Sunday we drove home and Bill got out of the car and onto the lawn mower because he was leaving for Florida at 4 am Monday, follwed by a flight out to Monterey CA wednesday (to see David graduate from the Defense Language Institute) and would be gone a total of another 7 days which is too long to go without mowing.

After a long week that ended with getting stuck at LAX for 14 hours, then a delay in Chicago for 5, Bill crawled home and into bed Suday afternoon exhausted but thankfully having the 4th and 5th off to recover. The big holiday plan was to get in  a lot of R&R  , grill food and consume lots of adult beverages around the pool. BUT, we all know how these things work out here…..

There is a birdhouse mounted on a pole of the fence inside the pool area, and since April there have been two barn swallows that are living in and around it. I have been checking constantly for eggs and nestlings but so far: nothing. The running joke around here is that they are our resident gay couple, and it’s nice to have a little diversity in the yard. I felt bad for them as they were REALLY REALLY trying to have babies but something was obviously awry. Well, a few weeks ago a third barn swallow joined up with them, and voila! Baby birds!

Now, against all laws of nature, the three of them guard the nest and happily feed and tend to their brood. …..and guess what?…..we are in their  way.

Usually no one nests in that particular house after the pool is opened. But now that these swallows waited so darn long, we are trying to frolic where they are trying to run a nursery. In their attempts to get us to shove off, they repeatedly swoop down at anyone who is in or around the pool.

City Boy (aka Bill) is not happy. When we went out early on the 4th, he watched with horror as the birds were diving at the girls in the pool. I had already ventured past the nest and was seated on a chaise lounge near the deep end and was only getting occaisonally swooped. He yelled out to us that he was not coming out to the pool and we reassured him that although they did come awfully close, they did not hit you or peck at you so you just ignore them. He was in no way convinced and ducked and ran swearing all the way out to the chaise lounges.

While trying to relax and read my book, I was constantly peppered with his comments and ramblings regarding the birds.

“I didn’t ask to live in a frickin arboretum”, …..”You and your GD gardens and birdhouses, how did we ever end up married ? “…etc etc. Then had to fend off threats. “I am going to take that birdhouse down right now” … followed by..”I am going to get the gun”….which he did.

I begged and cried, and told my city boy to please just sit, which he finally  did , but  he continued to rant on about how he wanted to cement over the whole yard, how he hates wildlife, and how I am ruining his  precious few days off with my birds.

I tried to explain to him how it was only temporary , that I had peered in and the nestlings were almost ready to leave and after they did I would re-locate the birdhouse promptly. He was unconvinced. Eventually I got up and moved all the furniture  on to the deck away from the birds where he continued to sulk until he had enough alcohol in him to settle down.

Today the girls were out swimming  and I had them try to distract mama papa and “uncle” bird so I could see how close the birds were to leaving Bill in peace, but when I  opened the box too fast one of the babies fell out and mayhem ensued. After much squawking and swooping and attempts at actually hitting me, I had to go in and get a golf umbrella to hold over my head while I tried to rescue the baby from under the hosta. Unfortunately the baby is old enough to flap and attempt  to fly so I could not catch it, but  it is still not strong enough for take-off from the ground. Crap. Now the girls are horrified that it probably will not survive .

City Boy is going to be very happy when I tell him, one down, three to go.

“uncle”making sure no one even tries to swing in the hammock

If you look closely you can see baby right in between two bottom petunia blooms

Where mama and papa have stood since the incident